(an e-course, led by Satya Robin)
July 1, 2017
I do have faith in the ineffable. I do not have a single name or face to put to it, but I can feel it. Even if all comes to nothing, there has been something.
July 2, 2017
I feel bad that I did not write today and I am too tired to do so now. My plan is to do my writing as soon as I get home from work. I did think of the Divine today. Often. And I saw my favorite Ganesha statue at the Art Institute. I feel hopeful. I am trusting.
June 3, 2017
To find beauty in the plain. This is something that I have long done. I think that ordinary objects are the most beautiful. Far more beautiful than an extravagant over-the-top thing. For example, cathedrals with their tall steeples and golden interiors are pretty, indeed. But for me, a quiet chapel made of wood is beautiful.
July 4, 2017
Faith is my life source. It is what keeps me from giving up on this plane of existence. I cannot point to any specific deity, in fact, my faith is, I am discovering, in something quite ordinary. My faith is in Life. And Balance.
July 5, 2017
I have found my faith strengthening this week after reading the workbook, reading the comments on the Facebook board, and writing. I am feeling more peaceful. More at peace, describes the feeling better. I have been able to let go of my worrying to a great extent. Instead of worrying about my family’s choices, I am trying to focus on just loving them.
Right now, cicadas are singing outside my window. Every year they come. Every year they sing. They will be here next year. Faith.
July 6, 2017
“Faith is believing that the outcome will be what it should be, no matter what it is.”
I spoke of the gist of this quote in last night’s entry (which was actually written just a few minutes ago). I draw bits and pieces from Buddhism and this is one of them. I work to stay focused on the present moment. And I love. And I am kind. I think that those qualities are what the Divine want from me. From everyone.
On a side note, my Divine is not Creator, but rather a part of the awakened universe. Perhaps a collective. Divine wishes me the best and does what is possible to aid in providing positive results for me.
July 7, 2017 (written July 9)
This week, the course is focusing on seeing clearly. I have been in a panic this morning. One of my friends has made a choice that could prove to be devastating in the future. Having since read from the Writing and Spiritual Practice workbook, I am finding myself calming as I look more closely at my friend. My friend is loving, thoughtful and kind-hearted. My friend is a glorious being! I will keep looking more and more closely, reminding myself that this one choice does not finalize doom, but rather is merely one piece of the person, and not only that but is a piece that brings this person joy. There is a great potential of it doing good for my friend and not evil, that I had not considered before looking deeper in order to see more clearly.
July 16, 2017
I am over a week behind in this course. I have been dealing with the demonic imps in my mind. I am going to try to get caught up over the next couple of days. I will probably be writing multiple posts a day, under that one date, until I am caught up.
“The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.”
This thought and deed has become such an important part of my life over the past few years. It impacts how I live each day and it impacts how I write. I see and I write as simply as possible. That may not make sense in regard to vision, but it really is quite simple. When overpowered by a sight, I make note of the many small parts that build that creation, whether a work of art or a mountain.
And my writing – it is sparse, but not sparse enough. That, I will continue to work on.
Satya writes: A gentle returning of our attention, over and over and over again.
As a person with ADHD, this is especially necessary for me. Sometimes, oftentimes, my mind is overcome with multiple thoughts and images, causing me to be unable to focus on any one thought, let alone on the world around me. (Of course, my depression can often make me obsess on one specific topic, which is a hell in its own right.) You see! Even now I am scattering multiple thoughts!
I gentle return my attention, over and over and over again.
I hear the gentleman downstairs returning home. His entrance is loud. Now all is quiet.
I do feel overwhelmed. There are not enough hours.
One thing – one good thing – that I learned from my ex-husband is that everyone has the same same number of hours in a day. We all have 24. I have 24. I must begin to use them much more wisely because my time on this earth is in its close. Its early close, I hope. I am not entirely ready to go just yet.
To get to the point, I am going to begin getting up at 5 AM in order to write. Otherwise, no writing gets done except on some weekends. And writing is what brings me the greatest happiness. I must not continue pushing it aside.
To learn the names of things. I have read in a few books that it is important to know the names of things if you are a poet. For example, the names of the birds or flowers of which you are writing. I think that it is also a good thing to do just as a human experience. To know what something is called is to bring it closer to yourself.